your room smells of hookers.
And success
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
