Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
