bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
