she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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