Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize