she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Enjoy the penises
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
