pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize