just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize