hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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