drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize