Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
