Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
