i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
