I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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