apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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