everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Randomize