I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
