did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
