brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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