why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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