Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Randomize
