I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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