Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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