does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
