My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
