WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
