i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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