I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
