his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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