Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Randomize
