forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
