U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
