so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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