We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
