bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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