girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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