I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
