i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Randomize
