I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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