i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My vagina just clenched in fear
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