I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
