How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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