OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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