why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
