You're so nebulous sometimes
My balls are so social today.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize