I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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