Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
