yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
