me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
