pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
