youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
