how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
