i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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