Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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