So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
