Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
is this the sara with the beer cane?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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