Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
