Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
