I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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