Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize