Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
false alarm, still single
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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