Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
