Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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