Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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