Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
