theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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