So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
