the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
