I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
