What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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