I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
